I made this piece over the summer, and I posted it simply with the title “Mind Storms,” because at the time I didn’t think I had anything to say about it. Now I do, because last night I entered into a mind storm with myself again, and today I am bursting with words that I just want to spew out into the abyss—perhaps by that spewage you can better interpret what I mean when I say ‘mind storms’.
I was frustrated with a simple statement a new acquaintance made, and this is what I decided about it:
I don’t believe in the mentality that anyone could only be hurting themselves in anything that they are doing.
If you choose to eat a salad and water instead of a large pizza and energy drink, you do that knowing that what you consume now affects not only who you are and what you are made of now, but who you will be and what you will be made of tomorrow. There is no getting around it. Every choice you make- be it hidden and personal or loud and public- changes you as an individual, very tangibly.
The world is made up of connected individuals existing together, bumping into each other, and crossing paths over and over again. No matter what you do, even if you avoid all human contact, you still change the make-up of the world just by your very existence. Nothing you ever do is purely your own. Everything you do is tied to everyone who, like you, is in existence. That is how I see the world.
I don’t just mean that when you sit in the dark alone and fester baseness within you, it predisposes you to go out into the community and come into contact with others from a place of greater baseness because of what you have bred yourself to do when you were alone.
I believe that every time I think a thought that is good and true, I offer something of light to the whole of existence.
I believe that every time I do something good, I give something to the whole of existence.
I believe that when I sit in the dark and stew, I offer something of lesser substance to the whole of existence.
I believe that when I am excessively harsh or judgmental, needlessly base, cruel, or selfish, I take away light from everyone and everything, even if no one was ever there to see me do it.
The way I see the world, no dark act or cogitation can be justified because it is done in isolation, and no act or cogitation of light can be discounted because it was done alone.
No. It is not okay just because no one sees you doing it. It is not okay because you are only doing it to yourself and you aren’t intending to have anyone else involved.
Everyone else will always be involved. Usually the ones you most want to hide things from are the ones who will be affected most directly.
I want to be made of a substance such that this thought brings me comfort and harmony, rather than guilt and disharmony. That is what last night’s mind storm reaffirmed in me.