Seeing Reality

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I was struggling a lot with this idea- this pressure within me that told me I ought to make myself into some sort of great artist. I wanted to be famous, successful. But I knew that wasn’t what I ought to want, and my thoughts in my mind were unsettled.

I do this thing now when I have moments like this, where I just vomit it all out to everyone everywhere I go; mostly in studio classes at school. The great thing about this is that by doing that, I get to learn so much from so many different people who turn around and share their advice and understandings with me. People have shared so much helpful insight with me this way.

Any who, I kept going back and forth with this in my mind until one night at 10:08 suddenly something just clicked, and I sent my mom this text:

I worry about doing great things and being great things, but that’s silly because God is so incredibly infinitely awesome and amazing and good, and everything I do I can only do because God gave it to me as a gift and he let me do those things, so the only logical thing to do with my life is thank God and praise him.

The next text I sent my mom, at 10:10 that night, hit upon another, very human, insight:

I’m going to forget that pretty quickly.

Perhaps most of wisdom is the art of not forgetting what one has learned.

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